I’M HOME

Hi! It’s me. Sir Bailey Bliss here! I am a ten-year-old beagle-basset hound dog. My life has been one of incredible adventures, of which the most wonderful of all began in 2021. Before that time, my life was dark and scary.

I was abandoned in a Michigan forest when I was eight years old. I was so scared. I had no water or food and wandered around, thinking my life was over. At night the animals scared me, and I had to learn to bark loudly and ugly to protect myself. One day on my journey, I found a family camping at a cottage. Their children were playing outside, and I ran over to them. The family rescued me and took me to a new home. My new home was an animal shelter.

The shelter was so much better than the forest. I had food and water, but I so wanted to have a home. I heard some dogs had beautiful homes with “hoomans” who loved them. When I was little, one dog told me that some dogs are treated like kings and queens in their “hooman” homes. They even get to sleep inside on a royal bed!

One day a man and woman came to visit me. They told my keeper that they had seen my photo on the internet. I’m not sure what the internet is, but, oh wowzah, of all miracles, I knew I was going to their home in Alpena, Michigan. They wanted me to live with them. They thought I was adorable! On yes, siree, I am adorable! Can you believe that!

After I arrived at their house, I suddenly realized, “Oh wow, I’m home! I have a home!” This home was a castle. I had my own bed. They had rugs on the floor to lie on. I had my own water dish and food dish. I could go out on their back deck, and they lived on Lake Huron. I gazed at the water and was not sure what to think. How could there be so much water in one spot? Was it safe to live by the water? Beside the water, there was a beach of sugar sand.

I told myself, “I am in Heaven! There is a Heaven on earth! I don’t have to wait until doggy heaven to enjoy life. I’m still a little scared they might not keep me. You just never know what hoomans will do. I hope they don’t take me to the forest and dump me there without food or water. They would break my heart forever! Please, God, let them keep me!”

A couple of days passed, and I had gotten so comfortable I decided to flop on the floor in front of my new Mom and lay on my back to see if she would rub my belly. Teehee! It worked, so I did it several more times. I love belly rubs!

Dad and Mom took me to a dog park, and this big dog thought he owned the park, but he was so wrong! I immediately put him in his place. My fur stood out, and oh, how I barked. He stayed away from me, but I wasn’t sure why he was allowed to run free. Mom and Dad kept me leashed. I heard them say they never want to lose me, and with my hound nose, I might forget and run off if I smell something interesting.

Mom took me to the vet, and I got a needle. They checked my teeth! Yuck! Why would they want to see my teeth? Did my Mom tell you that I was so scared when we arrived at the building that I was shaking all over? I thought they might be giving me away. The building looked like a shelter. The people all wore face masks, came to the car, and got me. Mom couldn’t go in with me, but after they gave me a needle and a yucky tooth checkup, they brought me back to Mom. She waited for me. Yipee! I was sure this must be my forever home! Oh, by the way, the vet told my Mom I have to have my teeth cleaned. Dad says I have stinky breath.

Oh my goodness! Life is so so good! How can life be this incredible? I’m so happy!

My Dad takes me for a walk every morning on the beach. One day, Mom took me for a walk on the beach in the afternoon. I have never ever been so happy and relaxed. The sun was shining on my beautiful fur, a gentle breeze was blowing across the top of my head, and the waves just made the most beautiful, incredible, glorious sound.

What is a dog to do but to lay down and relax? The second my feet hit the sand, I laid down. Now for some reason, Mom seemed not as excited. She didn’t drop to the ground and lay down beside me. Instead, she kept bugging me, saying, “Sir Bailey Bliss, please get up. Come on, let’s go for a walk. Why are you just lying there?”

I must confess that I ignored Mom. I suddenly became very, very deaf. I couldn’t hear. Do you know what I mean? I mean, what is a dog to do? If Mom tells you the story, she may tell it differently about how Sir Bailey was stubborn. But take it from me; that was not the case.

How could anyone go outside when it is 17°Celsius (Canadian temperature) with the wind blowing through their hair, and the waves creating a beautiful sound and not just lay down and enjoy it? I was amazed when a wave came in and almost splashed me. I am not used to being by a huge lake. I can sometimes see colossal shipping boats way out in the lake. Do you like the word colossal? I do. By the way, Mom is a bit strange about temperatures. She doesn’t seem to understand United States temperatures.

My favorite spot in the morning after Dad leaves for work is looking out the window. Life gets wild if I see a dog or “hooman”. If I see movement, I immediately let Mom know by loudly barking. I take my guarding the house very seriously, I mean very seriously!

Dad and Mom often sit on each side of me in the evenings and pat me for about a half hour. Mom hugs me, and Dad pats me and plays with my long ears. Dad says I need my love tank filled up. Isn’t it wonderful to be loved!

Oh, I forgot to tell you that I sleep with my eyes partly open and have two beds. There is a special comfy one in Mom and Dad’s bedroom for when I get lonely and want to sleep in their room. I have never ever had such a comfy bed. My big bed downstairs is flat and “orthopooodic” or something like that; they think it will be good for my bones. But the one upstairs in their bedroom is like Heaven! It is so soft and wraps all around me; I think I will sleep on it every night if they let me.

I have to take a break now from my stories, but I will be back tomorrow. Have a wonderful evening. Here is a great big humongous hug from me!

With love and vacuum cleaner snorts

(Teehee, I like to snort),

Sir Bailey Bliss

AN IMMIGRANT

Do you remember yesterday I told you about how Mom is strange about temperatures? She tells Dad what the temperature is, and he asks her, “What is that in US temperature?” I found out why she does this.

You see, my Mom is an immigrant. Oh yes, indeed! I heard her talking about it with Dad. My Mom is from another country called Canada. She and my Dad got married, and she had to apply for a visa to live here. They were married many months before she could move to the United States. I can tell my Mom and Dad love each other a lot. They hug and kiss a lot, too – teehee!

Because my Mom is an immigrant, I got to visit Canada. A city called Fredericton on the east coast.

Oh, guess what happened one night! Alpena had a severe thunderstorm warning – meaning people should go to the lower part of the interior of their house because of potential damage to roofs, siding, and trees. So Mom and Dad went outside to put away things on the deck that might get blown in the wind. They had just almost finished supper, and the dishes and leftover food were still on the table.

I knew what I had to do. I mean, leftover food can’t remain around Sir Bailey Bliss. When they returned from the deck, I was so proud of myself. I was standing in the center of the table, eating off Dad’s plate. I smiled at them like eating off their plates was the most normal thing to do. I was so happy. But to Mom and Dad, it was a shocking site; all they could do was stare and giggle.

Then Dad spoke firmly, “Bailey, get down!” Well, I knew I should not have been proud. It never is good when I get too proud. I guess dogs can’t be on the human table in this home. Mom told me I have to spell “hoomans” as human. Sorry, my earlier stories have lousy spelling.

I flew off the table, onto the chair, and then to the floor. It was so funny! Mom said, “I have never seen a dog standing in the middle of the table, proud of himself for eating dinner with us.” The hilarious part was that while they were eating, before going out on the deck, Dad had asked Mom, “Don’t you think Sir Bailey doesn’t understand why there isn’t a plate at the table for him? He thinks he is human.”

So, I did get to go to Canada. I was unsure what it would be like to go to another country, but Mom and Dad kept me safe. Mom had not seen her family in a very long time. Because of some virus called Covid, she was not allowed to visit New Brunswick because they locked it down. Sometimes she was very sad. She has a son there and missed him.

I only needed to show I had a rabies shot when we crossed the Canadian border. Guess that was what the vet gave me in the yucky needle. Before going to the border, Mom and Dad had to have someone stick something up their nose at a pharmacy. Then someone sent them an email that said negative. I now understand a bit about what the internet is. They use it to talk back and forth.

Yew, what humans do! I’m sure glad they didn’t stick something up my nose. I was very impressed because they didn’t have any snot come out (oops, Mom will be upset I said snot, but I’m sure you will giggle. Please don’t tell her what I said.)

We drove a long way after we crossed the border and had to stay in hotels at night. There was an ice storm that stopped us for a day. We spent Christmas Day in a hotel! We had Christmas supper delivered to our hotel room. I patiently waited to see if they might drop it all so I could eat it all. All is good.

I heard that my Mom’s mother bought me a Christmas gift. Oh yes, yes, yes! Don’t you think that is a perfect way to meet someone?

We had a wonderful trip. I like Canada, but I am glad we live in Michigan. Our Heaven on the beach is the best! Mom and Dad said I am an excellent “intererernational” traveler – I think that is how you spell it.

Love you all!

Sir Bailey Bliss

PS: Get Mom to tell you about when I got my head stuck in an empty dog bone box.

BACON!

Good morning, good morning! Sir Bailey Bliss here. Oh, what a beautiful morning!

One morning, I went for a long walk with Dad as the sun was rising. It was so much fun! But then, I got into big trouble! Sir Billy Bliss was naughty. Ha ha!!!

Mom had cooked some bacon in the microwave, meaning there were some paper towels with bacon drippings on them, and she put them by the sink in a dish. Then Dad went to work, but I went to the kitchen.

Now somehow, this short little dog that I am was able to get up on my hind legs, reach across the cupboard, catch the edge of the paper towels, and drag the whole greasy bundle onto the floor.

Just then, Mom thought I was too quiet, and she heard a slight sound, so she thought she should check up on me. You see, she knows me quite well. We are buds!!

Well, there I was with the big gob of paper towels dripping gooey bacon grease in my mouth. I would not let Mom take my treasure because it was so incredibly yummy, so I ran through the house to the living room. That meant dripping bacon grease was all over the hardwood floor from the kitchen to the living room, and I was still trying to eat it!!!

The grease was so fabulous. It was so incredibly delicious!!!! YUM!!!! I will remember the exquisite taste forever!

Mom tried so hard to get the paper towels out of my mouth. She finally dislodged the gob, but I did get a tiny piece and swallowed it – oh, heavenly delight. She told me she was so hoping I wouldn’t be sick.

Then Mom called Dad, and would you believe it? They had a big conversation about me. I heard Dad say that I had to be treated like a toddler and that they had to toddler-proof the kitchen. So from now on, Mom put all that type of thing in the sink or the garbage as soon as it was used.

The mess was all cleaned up. I helped. I ran around and licked the grease off the floor. A new kind of floor cleaning for Mom. I hope people here in Alpena don’t hear about my cleaning, or I’m sure they will want to hire me. I know that it made Mom very, very happy. She loves me so much!!!

Sir Bailey Bliss hopes you have a fabulous, wonderful day! Try some bacon grease – you will really, really like it. My vet will be so impressed that I got a huge serving today. Bacon grease is made in Heaven.

Love you all!!”

Sir Bailey Bliss